Pop Quiz: Seal

Pop Quiz: Seal

Aidin Vaziri | Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel - um, you can just call him Seal - has just released his fifth studio album, "System." On it, the three-time Grammy winner returns to the sleek grooves that marked his early work, with the first single, "Amazing," leading the rush back to the dance floor. The 44-year-old British singer, best known for the hits "Crazy" and "Kiss From a Rose," also invites his 34-year-old wife, Heidi Klum - whom you may have seen in a few Victoria's Secret catalogs or on a little-known reality television show called "Project Runway" - to duet with him on the romantic ballad "Wedding Day." She returned the favor by talking up the size of his manhood on "Oprah."


Seal
Q: What's it like to wake up next to a supermodel every day?
A: I don't know, but waking up next to Heidi is incredible. She's my best friend. She's my lover. She's my wife. She's the mother of my children.
Q: She could also be your publicist after talking about the size of your package on "Oprah."
A: There you go. That's my wife.
Q: You have to admit it's a great way to sell an album.
A: You think? Forever I shall be known as the package man.
Q: Just like everyone thinks Sting could have sex for 18 hours straight while standing on his head.
A: That's his doing, though. He brought that on himself.
Q: You're right. It's far better to get a third-party endorsement. So do you recommend that other men who can't get dates wear bicycle shorts and walk around hotel lobbies?
A: It seemed to work for me. Continue reading.

Review: Alicia Keys

Review: Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys 'As I Am': Aidin Vaziri | Few artists can convincingly pull off 1974 Lincoln Continental soul these days, which is what makes Alicia Keys a bit of a treasure. Even though her albums have been spotty on the whole, she usually manages to deliver a cascading, beautifully orchestrated ballad, such as "You Don't Know My Name" or "A Woman's Worth," that lifts the whole thing up into the clouds. But her third album, "As I Am," is beset by so many synthetic, hopelessly cliched Linda Perry co-writes that nothing can really rescue it from its general horribleness, not even the satin-lined R&B of "Wreckless Love." A gospel choir pointlessly bawls on "Superwoman," John Mayer noodles through "Lesson Learned" and on "Sure Looks Good to Me," Keys actually sings, "Don't rain on my parade/ Life's too short to waste one day." You know things are bad when your songs make Britney sound profound.

Pop Quiz: Jordin Sparks

Pop Quiz: Jordin Sparks

Aidin Vaziri | Have you already forgotten about Jordin Sparks, the sensible girl who won the sixth season of "American Idol" way back in May? Well, the release of the 17-year-old singer's self-titled first album and its politely bumping new single, "Tattoo," should fix that. In the next few weeks, Sparks will be performing just about everywhere - the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, D.C., the tree-lighting ceremony at Madison Square Garden in New York, even Alice Cooper's "Christmas Pudding" show, wherever that takes place - proving that all your votes against Sanjaya Malakar were not cast in vain.

Jordin Sparks
Q: I know you don't have any tattoos, but since you turn 18 in a few weeks, what would you choose if you did happen to get one?
A: I am going to get one!
Q: You are? Does your mom know?
A: Yes. I asked her. I would feel really bad if I did it without telling her. After I shot the video for "Tattoo," I said, "Mom, we should get tattoos to commemorate this!" And she actually contemplated it. So she said, "I'll go get one with you when you're 18."
Q: So what's it going to be?
A: I want to get my brother's name, P.J., in a nice script.
Q: Your brother's name? Isn't that a bit weird?
A: This past year has made me realize how much I took my relationship with him for granted. I've only been home a week and a half since the year started, and I really miss him. He knows everything about me. And, unlike a boyfriend, I know he won't walk away.
Q: What about a unicorn? Continue reading.

Review: Amy Winehouse

Review: Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse 'Frank': Aidin Vaziri | This is not the Amy Winehouse you know. "Frank" originally came out in Britain four years ago, before the then-19-year-old singer covered her arms with tattoos of naked girls, fought in the streets of London with her dazed husband and made amazing records that sounded like they were from 1967. Back then she was just another pop star singing gently swaying jazz and R&B tunes in the style of Erykah Badu. You're thinking: How could that possibly be any good? Well, the whole thing could do with a lot fewer flute solos, but the young Winehouse arrived with a load of gold-plated melodies, that enormous voice and brazen songs such as "Stronger Than Me" and "In My Bed," which goes like this: "The only time I hold your hand is to get the angle right." Was there ever any doubt she would someday rule the earth?

Pop Quiz: Queen Latifah

Pop Quiz: Queen Latifah

Aidin Vaziri | We could list all the things Queen Latifah - a rapper, author, television host, clothing designer and movie star who most recently appeared as Motormouth Maybelle in "Hairspray" - has done, but then we wouldn't have any space left for the interview. Seriously. So instead, let's just say that she's on tour behind her second album of standards, "Trav'lin' Light," the follow-up to 2004's Grammy-nominated "The Dana Owens Album," and let her do the rest.

Queen Latifah
Q: You were just on the cover of People magazine. Does that mean you can't leave the house for the next six months?
A: I hope not, because I like to leave the house.
Q: You must have a really good disguise.
A: Not usually. I don't know. I've always been able to walk around. Sometimes people feel like they know me. Sometimes it gets ridiculous. I went and ate at a restaurant the other day, and people actually came and sat at my table. I thought that was kind of rude.
Q: What would have been really rude is if they started eating your food.
A: That's called a fight. You touch the food, we have a problem. Don't jinx me, man. I hope that never happens. I wasn't raised like that. When you meet one of your idols, like I did when I was a kid and met Muhammad Ali, you just say hello and move on. I surely wouldn't follow people into the bathroom, which has also happened before. Continue reading.

Review: Duran Duran, 'Once' Soundtrack

Review: Duran Duran, 'Once' Soundtrack

Duran Duran 'Red Carpet Massacre': Aidin Vaziri | Duran Duran may never make another album as sexy or stupid as 1982's "Rio," but the band doesn't stop trying. While other past-their-sell-by-date members of the Band Aid choir - Sting, George Michael, Bono - have been maturing as people, refining their craft and rolling around in piles of wet cash, Simon Le Bon and company have seemingly grown more and more imbecilic with each new release (give or take the fluke "Ordinary World"). On the group's latest, Justin Timberlake and producer Timbaland are summoned to, I don't know, make the perpetual adolescents sound vaguely appealing to 13-year-old girls by playing robotic, loveless electro pop? "I am here to tempt you/ Ohhh, yeah," Le Bon sings on "Tempted." Imagine an album that sounds a bit like the Human League with a different singer. One that bleats like an orgasmic Chihuahua. It's so wrong that it's right.

Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová 'Once' Soundtrack: Aidin Vaziri | How did this one slip through the cracks? Maybe it's because the cover photo of the scruffy couple threatens to rehash "Before Sunrise," but get past that, and the folk-tinged soundtrack to this art-house love story is a stunner. Composed and played by the amateur stars of the movie - Glen Hansard, front man of Irish rockers the Frames, and Markéta Irglová, a teenage prodigy from the Czech Republic - the songs capture the authentic romantic cravings the musicians grappled with during the two-week shoot. That they ended up a couple in real life only makes songs such as "Falling Slowly" and "Once" resonate even stronger, evoking the kind of musical heartbreak last heard on Damien Rice's "O." Released in May, the album will get a deluxe reissue in December. Don't miss it again.

Pop Quiz: Vanessa Carlton

Pop Quiz: Vanessa Carlton

Aidin Vaziri | With her career on the wane since scoring a mammoth hit five years ago with "A Thousand Miles," Vanessa Carlton did the only sensible thing. For her latest release, "Heroes & Thieves," the classically trained pianist and singer-songwriter signed with hip-hop mogul Irv Gotti's label the Inc., formerly Murder Inc. In the video for the album's first single, "Nolita Fairytale," she shows her tough side by destroying the piano that made her famous. Carlton also recently ended a four-year relationship with Third Eye Blind front man Stephan Jenkins, who produced part of the album.

Vanessa Carlton
Q: This is your ex-boyfriend's hometown newspaper. Would you like to reveal any embarrassing secrets about him?
A: I'm sure Stephan can do that on his own.
Q: Are you still on speaking terms?
A: Yes. In the end, we looked at this record as our child. One of the reasons our relationship morphed into a friendship is because nothing took precedence over the music. That was the top priority. No matter what was going on in the emotional realm, all we cared about was the album. It created this kinetic environment that was kind of like Fleetwood Mac. It made for better music.
Q: Are you done with relationships for a while?
A: Yes. Now I'm raising the child. This is what I'm living for right now. Everything else is extracurricular.
Q: Do you think you'll ever date another musician?
A: I'll try not to. Continue reading.