Pop Quiz: Erasure

Pop Quiz: Erasure

Aidin Vaziri | Just when we thought Andy Bell and Vince Clarke had put away the Casio keyboards and corsets for good, the veteran British synth-pop duo known as Erasure returns for a five-week North American tour in support of a new album, "Nightbird," with multiple shows booked at the Independent in May. The forthcoming dates will mark Erasure's first major outing since Bell revealed he has been HIV-positive for more than six years and had hip-replacement surgery to help him deal with chronic pain.



Andy Bell of Erasure
Q: I understand you are bionic now.
A: Yes, partly. It's fabulous.
Q: Do you make that "Six Million Dollar Man" sound effect when you walk?
A: Not so far. The only thing, which is not a bad thing, is that I can't cross my legs anymore. I'm not allowed.
Q: I'm sure that's not a problem.
A: No. It's quite a good excuse, really.

Kylie: Ultimate Kylie

Kylie: Ultimate Kylie

CD Review: Kylie Minogue: Aidin Vaziri | Plenty of greatest-hits albums will come out this year, but how many of them will feature a song written by the Scissor Sisters, mouthed by Kylie Minogue and including a chorus that goes, "I believe in you, I believe in you, I believe, I believe, I believe, in you"? The only one that matters: "Ultimate Kylie." Out of all the mysteries that have plagued humankind over the centuries, none is quite as baffling as how America got stuck with boring old Madonna while the rest of the world got to savor the deliciously irresistible Kylie Minogue. "I Believe in You" is one of the new songs on this amazing two-disc career retrospective. And supposing people stop hitting the rewind button on what is clearly one of the greatest pop songs in about a million years long enough to listen to the rest of the material, they would realize how seriously we got cheated. Yes, the Stock Aitken & Waterman-helmed "Loco-Motion" era was pretty much a wash, but by the time Minogue discovered short shorts and soft-porn moves, it couldn't get any better. All the high points are here, including the duets with Nick Cave and Robbie Williams, the classic "Can't Get You Out of My Head," and "Chocolate," complete with the lyrics "In a heart shape come around me and then, melt me slowly down." Britney Spears? Kelly Clarkson? Hilary Duff? Get out of our faces. It's not too late to set things straight.

The Heavenly States Descend on Libya

The Heavenly States Descend on Libya

Oaklanders to rock Libya's casbah: Aidin Vaziri | Bono may sermonize about reaching out to Third World countries, but the Heavenly States are actually doing something about it. Still recovering from Thursday night's show at Bottom of the Hill, the members of the Oakland indie trio are boarding a plane today to make history as the first American rock band ever to tour Libya. They arrive in the North African nation with a troubled past Saturday for the first of four shows, a tsunami relief concert in the capital city of Tripoli. Between the organized sets, the Heavenly States -- signed to Australian label Baria -- plan to take their jangly postpunk melodies, maudlin lyrics and upside-down-guitar-playing skills to the streets, hoping to clinch the trip with an outdoor show at the Roman ruins of Leptis Magna. "What's more rock than to take it where it doesn't belong?" asks Ted Nesseth, the band's lead singer and guitar player.

In The Studio: John Vanderslice

In The Studio: John Vanderslice

Vanderslice likes to go with the flow -- especially if it's not digital: Aidin Vaziri | John Vanderslice is having a crisis. Standing in the control room of Tiny Telephone, he says he just found out that the only analog tape manufacturer in the world has shut down operations. Surveying the odd assortment of outdated recording equipment with bulky knobs and multicolored dials crammed into the Mission District studio he opened in 1997, he sighs, "This place is turning into the museum." Rather than accepting the inevitable and buying a digital workstation decked out with latest production gear like Pro-Tools and Auto-Tune, Vanderslice has instead decided to max out his credit card with $7,000 worth of obsolete analog tape. The first thing anyone should know about Vanderslice is that he's a wonderful, eccentric songwriter. The second is that he's a terrible businessman.

Pop Quiz: Chemical Brothers

Pop Quiz: Chemical Brothers

Aidin Vaziri | So what if the Chemical Brothers didn't exactly succeed in taking over the world with their laptops, as predicted by clueless pop music critics like myself sometime in 1997? Tom Rowlands and Ed Simons made some fantastic techno records along the way, and they're funny to look at to boot. But failure is not an option. After grabbing a Grammy Award nomination for "Get Yourself High," the British duo is back with its fifth studio album, "Push the Button," with help from friends like Q-Tip, Tim Burgess of the Charlatans U.K. and Kele Okereke of Bloc Party. The sneaky Brits may topple the global infrastructure yet. We spoke with Rowlands by phone from London.



Tom Rowlands of the Chemical Brothers
Q: On the new record, there are lyrics like "The party's over here" and "You can't run, you can't hide." What exactly are you trying to say?
A: It's a party record but, without being explicit, it strangely connects to how we feel at the moment. The things that happen in the world do effect how you feel every day, and to make a record that ignores that would feel strange.
Q: But where exactly is the party?
A: It's just saying there's still a place for fun and escapism, but it's not like making a record in 1995, which felt like a very different way of living.
Q: You got all that out of those words?
A: For us, words are not the only way of communicating emotion.
Q: I support what you are saying, even though I have no idea what it is.

Pop Quiz: Donny Osmond

Pop Quiz: Donny Osmond

Aidin Vaziri | Out of the 837 comeback attempts he's made, this has to be Donny Osmond's most convincing. At 46, the former teen pinup and host of the television game show "Pyramid" has discovered lite rock with his latest album, "What I Meant to Say," and scored a British Top 10 hit with the song "Breeze On By."



Donny Osmond
Q: You recently went to Wales to find out about your family history.
A: I always wanted to go out there because a lot of my ancestors come from there.
Q: Did you find anything interesting?
A: My great-great-great-grandfather's gravesite and where he lived. It's really strange to go to the area where your roots are from.
Q: Are there any real characters in the Osmond family tree -- I mean, besides you?
A: We've got a couple of interesting characters in my pedigree, but nothing that really stands out.
Q: No pirates or ghosts?
A: Not that I know of.

Pop Quiz: John Butler Trio

Pop Quiz: John Butler Trio

Aidin Vaziri | John Butler is out to mess with people's minds. The Australian singer-songwriter calls his band the John Butler Trio even though the weirdo- space-reggae-funk-rock music they make sounds nothing like jazz. He wears dreadlocks but doesn't smoke that much weed. And even though his songs often stretch past the standard three-minute mark, he's become a top-selling artist back home, outselling even Jet and the Vines. Now the trio's "What You Want" EP is picking up major radio play here, and a full-length album, "Sunrise Over Sea," arrives early this year.



John Butler
Q: Are you a real pop star in Australia?
A: I don't think I'm a pop star.
Q: Are you popular?
A: The music that I play is pretty popular.
Q: Then you're pop star.
A: I'm not a pop star.
Q: Just because you don't look like Justin Timberlake doesn't mean you're not a pop star.
A: We just have the good fortune to have people support us on quite a large scale.
Q: Have you ever been in the Top 10?
A: Yeah, our album debuted at No. 1.
Q: You're so a pop star. I can't even believe how much you're a pop star.
A: When's the last time you saw me?
Q: I think I saw you break- dancing in a Burger King ad last week.

Pop Quiz: Greatest Hits, Vol. 04

Pop Quiz: Greatest Hits, Vol. 04

Aidin Vaziri | OK, just one last bit of last year, and we're done with '04 for good: On our Pop Quiz page, we proudly present the best of Aidin Vaziri -- memorable moments from our pop critic's patently quirky Q&A conversations. Fans and haters, let the e-mails begin.



Pop Quiz: Greatest Hits, Vol. 04

Jonathan Davis of Korn:
Q: The first time I met the band, you guys were sleeping in bunk beds. You probably don't do that anymore.
A: No, not anymore.
Q: Do you miss it?

Harry Connick Jr.:
Q: Did you run into anyone interesting over there at the Capitol studios?
A: When we recorded the album? Like who?
Q: You know, like Burt Bacharach or Tony Bennett?
A: Not really.
Q: Those guys don't just hang out there all day sipping martinis?
A: David Cassidy was out there doing something.
Q: Janitorial work?

Brandon Boyd of Incubus:
Q: Did you actually see Janet Jackson's breast?
A: Yeah. What was up with that?
Q: Do you think it was worth watching 17 hours of football just for that part?

Kylie Minogue:
Q: Would you ever get a tattoo on your stomach with flames shooting out of it like that guy from the Darkness?
A: No, but I just love the Darkness. I mean, we could definitely swap a few wardrobe tales.

Kelis:
Q: On the back cover of your album there is a photo where you are in your underwear literally sitting on top of a giant milk shake. Was that cold?
A: No, it's not a real milk shake.

Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs:
Q: Why did you film the video for "Maps" in a gymnasium?
A: It wasn't a gymnasium. It was the basement of a church.
Q: It wasn't a gymnasium? My next 15 questions are about gymnasiums.

Ralph Hutter of Kraftwerk:
Q: Didn't you almost die on a bicycle?
A: No. It was just a very normal fall and a couple days in the hospital. It was nothing to worry about.
Q: Nothing to worry about? You were in a coma.
A: That's how it goes. I just forgot my helmet.

Al Green:
Q: What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
A: First of all, I look around and be thankful that I woke up.
Q: That seems like a good place to start.

Caroline Corr of the Corrs:
Q: What are some baby names you're considering?
A: We haven't thought about anything because I haven't found out what we're having yet.
Q: What about Apple? I think Apple Corr makes much more sense than Apple Paltrow-Martin.

Queen Latifah:
Q: You can actually become a queen on the Internet now.
A: Yeah?
Q: I already did it.
A: What the hell? Why not?

Billy Corgan:
Q: Since you quit the band you've been writing poetry and keeping an online diary. When did you turn into a 14-year-old girl?
A: I don't know.

Peaches:
Q: What's your stage show like this time out?
A: Insane. I've got two dancers coming. (pause) Hello?
Q: Oh, I thought there was going to be more.
A: What do you need?
Q: You've got two dancers and what else?
A: And me. What else? What do you need? You've got me. I'm a f -- virtual Kiss concert on my own. I don't think you need much more.
Q: But is there more if someone wants it?

Regis Philbin:
Q: Be honest now. Are you just getting back into music for the hookers?
A: Ah-ha-ha! What a crazy guy you are. The hookers wouldn't be caught dead with me if they heard some of these songs.
Q: I knew it was that or the drugs.

Ryan Cabrera:
Q: In the past 24 hours, how many times have people asked you about the Ashlee Simpson lip-synching debacle on "Saturday Night Live"?
A: I'd probably say 30 or 40 times.
Q: That's it?

Coming Up: Pop Music Forecast 2005

Coming Up: Pop Music Forecast 2005

Aidin Vaziri | Get out your new calendars, datebooks, PDAs and Post-its: After taking a last look back with their top 10 lists last week, The Chronicle's critics say there's lots to look forward to in 2005.



Pop Music Forecast: 2005
U2 on the road again: Fresh from a Hall of Fame induction, releasing an amazing new album and customizing iPods, the official World'sGreatest Band is set to tour. And they're leaving the disco balls in the warehouse.
Joanna Newsom: After pretty much winning over the entire universe, San Francisco's very own harp-playing-squeaky-singing-folk-minstrel comes home. An entire city swoons. (Swedish American Hall, Feb. 25-26)
Coldplay III: Marrying Gwyneth Paltrow. Scrapping with the paparazzi. Making babies named after fruit. Just some of the things Chris Martin could be singing about on the arena giant's anticipated spring release.
Kings of Leon, "Aha Shake Heartbreak": The beards are gone, but this photogenic Nashville group of brothers and cousins keeps the raw blues-rock positively inbred on its daring second album.
Beck is back: After getting over his heartbreak with the surprisingly dark "Sea Change," new dad Beck is once again in cosmic funk mode. Prince is free to retire.
Kasabian: Loony British rock band with beats makes rare American appearance to promote its jaw-dropping debut. Expect a statewide crack shortage. (Slim's, March 11)
Courtney Love's autobiography: To help cope with that stack of legal bills, the former Mrs. Cobain has reportedly taken a $540,000 advance to tell her life story. Or at least the parts she remembers.
The Rolling Stones keep rolling: OK, so their last 27 albums didn't exactly recreate the bum-tickling insanity of "Sympathy for the Devil." But producer Don Was promises their next, due this summer, is more potent than the last drink Keith knocked back.
Amy Winehouse's "Frank": She's just like Norah Jones except with better tunes and better cuss words coming out of her mouth. Apart from that, the best thing about this young British jazz singer is that she's nothing like Norah Jones.
Bright Eyes: Conor Oberst has just recorded two new albums set for simultaneous release. One of them blows. But the other, "I'm Wide Awake, It's Mourning," is made up of beautiful country-rock ballads that raise the hairs. (Berkeley Community Theater, Feb. 15)