The Least of 2005

The Least of 2005

Aidin Vaziri | To some, 2005 was a year of excess to which we will be happy to say farewell. Too many storms, too much war, too much reality TV, too much (fill in the blank). All of this is sure to produce too many listings of the best, worst and most of 2005. Accordingly, here's our list of the least of 2005, which seems more fitting:


Least-surprising turn of events: Insider host Pat O'Brien checked into rehab to battle an alcohol problem after letting some rather explicit voice mails slip out. Tom Cruise flipped out on "Today's" Matt Lauer over Ritalin after putting on a crazed, Katie Holmes-inspired gymnastics display on Oprah's couch. Supermodel Kate Moss was caught on video dashing through the snow. What further proof do you need? Celebrities, they really are just like us.

Least-titillating, um ... well, you know: Tara Reid's nipple slip at P. Diddy's birthday bash. Madonna aerobicizing in a too-small leotard for her "Hung Up" video. Courtney Love exposing her bra, belly and panties at Pamela Anderson's roast. If we never see another flash of celebrity skin, it will be too soon.

Least-triumphant moment for lip-synching: Did anyone catch R. Kelly miming to his endless, convoluted "Trapped in the Closet" song cycle at the MTV Video Music Awards? What the heck was that? If he doesn't go to jail for the whole underage sex thing, he should be put away for a long, long time based on that performance alone.

Least-obvious baby name: Seal and Heidi Klum had a baby and named it Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel. Because Dad wasn't teased nearly enough for having a stupid name while he was growing up?

Least-road-safe starlet: Teen actor and recording star Lindsay Lohan suffered two car accidents allegedly at the hands of the paparazzi. But starring in "Herbie: Fully Loaded" was a car accident entirely of her own making.

Least-hit wonder: Russell Crowe threw a faulty phone at a New York hotel concierge's head. That's one more hit than he'll ever have with his recently renamed rock band the Ordinary Fear of God (formerly Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt).

Least-obvious pregnancy diet: Britney Spears and Jennifer Garner proved that those old blowhards in white lab coats that spout off about healthy pregnancies through eating organic vegetables and flax seed oil are merely talking out of their stethoscopes. Having been photographed roughly 857 times walking out of Starbucks stores gripping a Venti Mocha Frappucino with extra whipped cream and a Big Grab bag of Cheetos placed precariously on their protruding bellies, the two new moms rewrote all the rules. Folic acid and prenatal vitamins are out. Caffeine and MSG are in.

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